24 January 2009

I do

Had a wonderful day today attending a wedding I never thought I'd see. One of my Franciscan brothers married one of my Franciscan sisters in a lovely ceremony - they are both in their "third age" and he's been a most determined bachelor all that time. She's been married before (he joked that he's suddenly a grandfather to 9 grandkids!). As far as we know, it's the first wedding in the Order in NZ - we don't have many married couples anyway (for married people, it tends to be either one or the other called to the Order, very rarely both. There's only about three or four other couples where both are Professed in the Province).

What was really special about it was that it tied into something I've been musing about for ages. One of the things I love about TSSF is that we can be married, single, ordained, lay, male and female. I've said "I do" twice: once to my husband on our wedding day nearly eight years ago (that's scary - the time's gone so fast!), and again to God on my Profession day nearly five years ago. There's a symmetry there that speaks to me: outwards to others and inwards to God. It's almost (if not being presumptuous) a bit like Jesus - divine and human in one person. It's certainly like Francis, loving others and loving God.

I also know that my strongest formation as a Franciscan has happened through my marriage, and now through motherhood. I've had to learn to be so much more patient, forgiving, loving, kind, gentle, strong, etc etc than I ever was before. When there's just you, it's easy to be secretly selfish, at least innerly; when there's a family there it's much harder to be. But then, there is a different sort of selfishness, when one's focus is all on one's own family, and less open to others. That's where my community pulls me outwards, where my friends, my work and my Order give me somewhere to express my outwardness.

I've also been reflecting a lot on Mary recently: she said yes to God, and she became a mum to the child that was born for others; and she had other children (Jesus had brothers - at least). She was formed by her love for God, and that formation helped form her children who lived and died for others. She's amazing. It's starting to make a lot of sense why Francis wanted her for our Patroness; she understands when no-one else does, when almost all the other saints were monks or nuns or not married and haven't experienced that particular tug of love.

I hope my friends will find something of this in their new life together, especially the groom as he adapts to an entirely new kind of life: one with a wife in it!

Pachyderm tssf

No comments: